We all do have our own insecurities about small things and it is normal to have down days where you feel you can't seem to do anything right. I have been lacking in self-confidence about myself many times such as my weight, my hair, my deaf accent, not smart enough, I'm not good enough, everything! Insecurity kills all that it is beautiful. The problem is not with what you are insecure about, the problem is what you think of it...And what you think of yourself.
As a beauty queen, Miss Deaf South Africa 2019/20, I learned very fast to build self-confidence. It will take some time, but the best way is to take baby steps from time to time to develop self-confidence.
When I went to mainstream school, did public speaking, organized fundraisers for deaf children, qualified as a Pilates instructor, and entered the Miss Deaf SA beauty pageant, I had to work hard at being a picture of confidence and always ooze grace under pressure. It is impossible to be a nervous role-model. Everybody want to be inspired by a confident, charming, and positive person who shares the secrets of being self-confident.
Here are 5 things to guide you to overcome your insecurities and build self-confidence. It is important that you know that you will not develop self-confidence overnight. Try to be kind to yourself during this process and do not get discouraged if things aren't improving as fast as you would like them too.
3. Stop overthinking
I noticed that overthinking the wrong things can hugely impact stress in your life. Stop overthinking and wasting your energy on invisible things. You can't control everything. Just let it be. Get a journal, write down what's bothering you, and tell yourself firmly to stop thinking in circles. It is a proven thing that most of the things we overthink never happen to us. Plan a time for positive thinking and mental planning and meditation to strengthen your self-image.Sit in a quiet place, take a deep breath, and enjoy your private "me-time'. Put more energy in what you really want to do and most importantly: do not believe everything you think.
4. Learn to Love Yourself
I wasn't confident about myself because I was soo insecure about my deafness. Over the years, after my cochlear implants, I couldn't be happier about myself and I feel proudly deaf. I feel proud of the way I look. In my younger days, there were no social media and in my thirties, the first step I gained self-confidence is a selfie for social media with no filter. When a woman is confident with herself, everything about her becomes more beautiful.
My definition of self-confidence is: love yourself and only then you can love others.
Even if you don't feel confident today, the small steps you are taking now will eventually grow into bigger steps and keep moving forward. Remember: Every journey starts with the first step!
1. Exercise
Yes, exercise will help you overcome lacking in self-confidence. I remember when I was overweight, I felt ashamed about myself and when I looked in the mirror I told myself this is not my body. As a former ballerina, I had to look after my body all the time and keep my eyes on what I put in my mouth. When I quit ballet, everything changed, I decided to go for a change. I trained so hard. The more you train the more you will feel great about yourself. Once you feel great about yourself you will find soon that you are confident, beautiful, and extremely proud of it. Go exercise and find which workout is best for you. A healthy body create a healthy spirit.
2. Build your self-confidence
Fear is the opposite of love! You can only love others if you love yourself. Don't let fear overtake your life. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself that you are worthy and wonderful. Try something new such as a self-defense class or join a group- activity, anything new that you never tried before. You will meet new people and learn how to communicate with friends and strangers. This is the essential step in learning how to gain confidence. Have a social life and surround yourself with positive people. I went to try self-defense classes to feel secure and strong, be able to defend myself and to overcome my fears. You can also try tennis lessons or boxing classes. You will feel so much better when you have a rush of adrenalin and your body produces the happy hormones, endorphins, after your class. Try to do things that challenge you the most, it is impossible to get more confident if you just think about it, get up and do something about it even if it takes a lot of courage to do it. With time your self-confidence will grow.
Yes, exercise will help you overcome lacking in self-confidence. I remember when I was overweight, I felt ashamed about myself and when I looked in the mirror I told myself this is not my body. As a former ballerina, I had to look after my body all the time and keep my eyes on what I put in my mouth. When I quit ballet, everything changed, I decided to go for a change. I trained so hard. The more you train the more you will feel great about yourself. Once you feel great about yourself you will find soon that you are confident, beautiful, and extremely proud of it. Go exercise and find which workout is best for you. A healthy body create a healthy spirit.
2. Build your self-confidence
Fear is the opposite of love! You can only love others if you love yourself. Don't let fear overtake your life. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself that you are worthy and wonderful. Try something new such as a self-defense class or join a group- activity, anything new that you never tried before. You will meet new people and learn how to communicate with friends and strangers. This is the essential step in learning how to gain confidence. Have a social life and surround yourself with positive people. I went to try self-defense classes to feel secure and strong, be able to defend myself and to overcome my fears. You can also try tennis lessons or boxing classes. You will feel so much better when you have a rush of adrenalin and your body produces the happy hormones, endorphins, after your class. Try to do things that challenge you the most, it is impossible to get more confident if you just think about it, get up and do something about it even if it takes a lot of courage to do it. With time your self-confidence will grow.
In my younger days, I was very uncomfortable with public speaking. They say it is the most challenging exercise in the world to stand alone in front of an audience and talk to them. At school, I didn't want to do orals or speak in front of my classmates because I was scared that they might mock my deaf accent. My teachers allowed me to do my oral after school so that I can have a one- on- one oral with my teacher. My heart raced every time when the teacher called my name but you must always remember to practice your oral in front of the mirror. I did it over 50 times, over and over again to gain my self-confidence. Always practice and the more you practice it, the more you will find your confidence at public speaking. I really experienced that practice makes perfect.
3. Stop overthinking
I noticed that overthinking the wrong things can hugely impact stress in your life. Stop overthinking and wasting your energy on invisible things. You can't control everything. Just let it be. Get a journal, write down what's bothering you, and tell yourself firmly to stop thinking in circles. It is a proven thing that most of the things we overthink never happen to us. Plan a time for positive thinking and mental planning and meditation to strengthen your self-image.Sit in a quiet place, take a deep breath, and enjoy your private "me-time'. Put more energy in what you really want to do and most importantly: do not believe everything you think.
4. Learn to Love Yourself
I wasn't confident about myself because I was soo insecure about my deafness. Over the years, after my cochlear implants, I couldn't be happier about myself and I feel proudly deaf. I feel proud of the way I look. In my younger days, there were no social media and in my thirties, the first step I gained self-confidence is a selfie for social media with no filter. When a woman is confident with herself, everything about her becomes more beautiful.
Remember your confidence-level is a selfie with no filter.
Follow in someone's footsteps like any celebrity that has similar hair, and body as yours. Talk to yourself in front of the mirror and say: "I am beautiful". Embrace your natural beauty and embrace what you were born to be because it is beautiful to accept and embrace who you are.
5. Stay away from negative situations
Follow in someone's footsteps like any celebrity that has similar hair, and body as yours. Talk to yourself in front of the mirror and say: "I am beautiful". Embrace your natural beauty and embrace what you were born to be because it is beautiful to accept and embrace who you are.
5. Stay away from negative situations
Social Media has a lot of negative comments and impact. Don't let it interfere with your positive thinking and practice to ignore them.
Once I made a video of me on YouTube of my ballet audition video for the Joffery Ballet School in New York. A girl commented "She's fat" and I was shocked and humiliated by how cruel people can be. Don't waste your anger or frustration on it because it can drain your energy. You will feel trapped and overwhelmed about yourself. Find a way to avoid negative and degrading comments and this will result in a more sustainable and satisfying life for you.
Stop letting insecurity run your life. Enjoy every moment of your life. Life is too short to miss out on being happy. Break your silly ego, be yourself, love truly, and laugh loudly. Never avoid anything that makes you smile.
Find some quotes about self-confidence to help you in building more self-confidence. It is a very healthy habit to write down your own self-confidence quotes, also if you can write motivational quotes for yourself on a piece of paper or a note pad about your definition of self-confidence.
My definition of self-confidence is: love yourself and only then you can love others.
I love to hear from you - what is your definition of self-confidence?
Love,
Marisa xx
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